Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The One Where Nobody Got Hurt

New Year's Eve. 

Good goddamn riddance.

It started off with a bang--I got to spend four or five glorious hours at my in laws' house. 

Fun times.

Times were made all the more fun by the lack of electricity at their house. Not an unusual occurrence--the power goes out if you sneeze too hard there--but since they're on a well, it means no flushing and no running water, on top of no heat and no television and no nothing else. Which meant DH and I spent the day hooking up generators, cleaning, repeating things three or four times for MIL to actually listen, and trying to keep our children from killing each other.

Fine. We finally left. The gods smiled.


I was dozing in the car when we rounded the corner to home. You know--the dream house that's become a money pit? The one with the pinhole leaks and the rotted walls and the wonky electricity wiring and everything else we grin and bear? That one.

So I'm dozing. We round the corner. I hear DH almost yell, "Oh my GOD!" I fling my eyes open, and see our pear tree. Split, straight down the middle, one half laying on the ground like a dead person, and the other standing up saluting his mate. This is the pear tree that's huge and dead-center in the front yard. The one that shades the picture window in the living room. And the one that DH offhandedly mention we'd have to take down in the next few years, before a storm split it down the middle.

He should stop speaking of such things.

So we spent the afternoon in arctic temperatures and Siberian winds, cutting up the M-Fing tree. I rented a trailer for Friday, so we can take the f-er to the dump and be rid of it. And then I'll get to call a company to come grind up the stump so we can plant another tree there. 

Did I mention the recession? And the husband who works on commission? Selling ads, for the love of God?

Stupid no-good wind and stupid, stupid soft-wooded pear tree. STUPID pear tree.

We had red-hot plans for New Year's Eve, you know? Watching The Polar Express for the 25th time with the kids, and then falling asleep on the couch. Cuz life rocks like that when you have urchins running the joint. 

Instead, I'm nursing frostbite on my legs (it is TOO frostbite!) and wind burn on my cheeks and looking to half a day more of chopping up wood, to expose the entire front of my house to the elements and make it look like a new housing development.

I HATE new housing developments.

But it didn't fall on the house. And nobody got hurt. And tomorrow, this no-good sumbitch year will end. Be. Gone. Foul. Beast. And on January 20, my unicorn will be delivered and everything will be sparkly roses and sunshine, yes? Cuz that's what we were promised. Effing Utopia.



Thursday, December 18, 2008


Dear Obama:

How's that honeymoon working out for you?




Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Sorry. It's been awhile. It's the most frantic time of year, made even more so by moving and renovating and volunteering and such.

Today was my great-uncle's funeral. People I've told that have said they're sorry. I appreciate it, but really, he was 96 years old. Married for 67 years--my great aunt, who is in fantastic health, is 88. You don't get a much better run than 96 years. It's sad to see him go, but man, would that we all got so much time to do what we do.

I'm having serious issues with this auto bailout. Chrysler, Ford, and GM have made cars that absolutely suck for decades. I say that having owned several. They blow. I mean, take apart a Honda, see how they do it, build cars that don't require regular tows, and then bail your damn selves out by providing a product people want and developing return customers and a base there. Or go under--you really do deserve to go under. And have a chat with your unions about realism and such things...but that's its whole own blog post. Unions. Feh.

Someone called me today to see if I could take her lunch duty slot in 2nd grade tomorrow. I did two lunch duties last week, and I said no. I've never done that before. But I have a hot date with myself for sushi tomorrow and some errands to run, and I honestly need an hour to breathe. So no, I'm sorry. I can't take it. *sigh* Selfish me, huh?

We started ripping out the first floor powder room two nights ago. Rewired the main light to move it to another wall, patched the drywall, and ripped out the godawful scallop shell sink. Now, it's painting and installing the new vanity. It's been a long time since we've done this kind of work. I told someone it's like labor--you forget about the pain after awhile. Did I mention I'm never moving again? Like, never ever? I should mention that.

School's closed for inauguration. It's never been closed before for it. But damn if we're not shutting down for the Unicorn Corps. Nothing like a little partisanship in the school system, huh? Sweartagod, not a word about money for four years, people. Nothing. I'm not listening.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Just a Thought

Dear Ford, Chrysler, and GM:

I'm about to bail you out.


Stop building cars that suck.



ps--It's not about the salary, stupids. We all know with your annual six-figure bonuses, a dollar salary offer is meaningless. Try again.

pps--I heart my Honda. Heh.