Open Letter

Dear Slimeball:

Seriously? You had to pilfer my credit card number?

*sigh*

I hope you enjoyed the two international phone calls you were able to make before our bank caught you and shut the account down. I also hope you rot in hell for getting caught just as I was trying to pay for groceries, so I got the extreme pleasure of having my card rejected in the checkout lane. Those of us who pay our bills on time take great offense at having that happen (because it generally doesn't). You are very lucky that I had another card on me to pay for the food with, or I'd be out hunting you down myself.

It's going to take me several days if not weeks to update all of our automatic payment plans with the new account number. Appreciate that--I was wondering what on earth I was going to do with all this free time! I've already gotten an email from Blockbuster telling me our card was rejected. And yeah, rejections by email are still humiliating.

For future reference, the banks are onto internet long-distance phone calls. They're also onto automated gas purchases. No cashier--you don't get nailed when the card's reported as stolen. If you're going to do it, do it big. Hit Best Buy or something. Buy yourself something nice. It's on me, after all.

And while you're doing that? Get a life. Mine's pretty much spoken for.

Hope you rot.

XOXO

Kim