Prayer for a Mom on Friday Night

God, grant me the serenity
To not yell back
To not smack little heads or heinies
And to not run screaming into the street before a bus.

Grant me the patience
To cut off the crusts just so
To apply and re-apply band-aids so the owies don't hurt
And to not call anybody shorter than me a "stupidhead."

Let my head not explode
At listening to the same song for the eighth time in a row
At Wa Wa Wubzy's voice
Or at the next person who says that he or she is so cuuuuuuute!

Let me talk to an adult for five uninterrupted minutes today,
Take a shower in peace, at least until the conditioner's out,
Not eat Pop Tarts for a 4 p.m. snack,
And make it through Target in less than three figures.

Keep my voice down,
My hands low,
And my halo shining, even when I'd like to fling it at my family.

Help me remember that they're blessings
My little blessings
And that they love me, no matter what.

And then, Lord, give me a peaceful bedtime and a glass of wine.
I deserve it.

Amen.