Groupthink, a.k.a. Life's Too Short

I lied. I do have something to say today.

I just ordered new contact lenses. Four boxes. Less than two months after my last four boxes arrived.

Three months ago, I had my eyes examined and was fit with new contacts. This was the first time I'd seen this eye doctor--we'd never had vision insurance before and the list of in-network doctors was pretty darned small (God bless and keep managed care). After waiting an eternity to be seen despite being the first appointment of the day and after the exam and after being blown off by the dude behind the counter for awhile despite being one of two customers in the store, I finally grew a set, asked for my prescription in writing, and stormed out. Came home, got online, ordered the lenses in the script, faxed the miserable paper to the company, and got my boxes a few days later.

The lenses she prescribed were Acuvue Oasis. Everybody loves them. The latest and greatest thing. Comfy! Light! Permeable! Fanfriggintastic!

I tried. I swear. I tried to love them. I tried all the way through a whole box of the blasted things. But they feel like sandpaper on my eyeball and it's all I can do to get to 7 p.m., which is when I allow myself to claw them out of my eyes, drown them in their cases, and put on my ugly-but-functional glasses. I've tried every solution on the market. I've tried rubbing them, despite the no-rub guarantee on said solutions. I've tried soaking them, not soaking them, using drops of SupraClens, rubbing my eyes, putting them in backwards.

This past weekend, we saw some friends whose son is serving in Iraq. His dad recently asked him what the climate was like there. His response was, "Get out Mom's hairdryer, put it on the highest, hottest setting, hold it three inches from your face, and every few seconds throw a handful of sand in there just for the heck of it."

That's how my eyes feel. I'm not comparing uncomfortable contacts with Iraq. But that hot, dry, sandy ick is what my eyes feel like, and the scratchiness continues until I fall asleep, even when the horrible lenses have been out for awhile.

So today, I finally went back online to see if I could return the unopened boxes. I can't--it's been more than 30 days. So much for trying to fit in with the cool people who loooooooove these Oasis things. So much for stubbornitis.

Know what? Life's too short. I ordered four trusty boxes of Acuvue 2s, faxed my prescription again, and vowed to donate these horrible sand-lenses to whatever charity wants them. Maybe their beneficiaries have cooler eyes than me. But life's too short to be this uncomfortable all the time.

And no, I don't want Lasik. Thanks. Just my old Acuvue 2s. I'm just not that cool.