Hot Buttons

Do you have one?

I do, and somebody pounced on it yesterday. I'm afraid I didn't react very well, either.

We were at coffee yesterday morning, some neighbors and I, and one of the girls told a story that I swear I've sat through four times now. It has to do with a community that I'm part of--I had nothing to do with The Incident directly, but every time this same tale is dragged out, I sit there and smile like a moron, not really knowing how I'm supposed to react. 

This person knows this community is a big part of my life. Tells the story anyway. Repeatedly and without provocation.

Honestly, I'm not sure why it upsets me so much, except that I kind of feel like it crosses a line. If I know something is part of your life, I'm not going to talk trash about that thing in your presence, you know? Basic social skill. 

And this story has to do with my church and school, which are Catholic. Y'all know my take on that: for some reason, people feel free to say things about catholics that they'd never in a thousand years say about Jewish people or Muslim people or black people or fat people. I know this person would never tell a story about the Jewish Community Center in front of another neighbor who is Jewish...but that neighbor would probably kick her ass instead of just sitting there pretending to watch a baby play in the corner.

Anyway, I'm embarrassed to say that it ruined my day. Put me in a foul mood until bedtime. I vented to a wonderfully patient friend who probably should have told me to get the eff over it already, but didn't, and I had a beer and started a new book and pouted. This morning, when the person who told the story (again!) passed me while I was out walking, I fiddled with my iPod and pretended not to see her. Mature, right?

I also bailed on my bookclub meeting tonight. I only got through half the book and that's part of the reason, but I'm just not in the mood. I don't feel like being around this person today. I'm a big baby.

So part of me is now trying very hard to Get Over It. And part of me is trying to move on and distance myself. I joined our local Catholic Business Network this morning, and I emailed a bunch of really nice ladies I've met through church and through school and asked them if any of them had room for one more in their bookclubs. I think I need to find friends based on personalities instead of geography. I tell my kids that all the time. Why I don't listen to my own advice is a mystery.

Anyway, to my friend who listened to me last night, thank you. And I'm sorry.

To the rest of you, cross your fingers for me that I can find something to let me move past this. It's a recurrent issue--I know this won't be the last time. I need to grow thicker skin.

Or kick her ass.