Open Letter to the AMA

Dear Doctors:

Much is said about the statistics that mothers, especially young ones, don't take care of their own health the way they do their families'. They don't go to the doctor like they should. They don't go for recommended tests. They skip annual checkups and dental cleanings, and they never return for follow-up appointments when recommended.

Everybody says it's because they're busy and they get into a habit of putting everyone else before themselves. And yes, that's part of it. But there's another whole dimension.

I went to the OB's office for my annual last week--about four months overdue. I arrived 10 minutes before my appointment time, as requested, signed in at the desk, presented my insurance card, driver's license, and copayment, and had a seat.

And sat...and sat...and sat. For the better part of an hour. With absolutely no communication from anyone to let me know that the doctor was running late.

The same thing happened at the dentist's office the other day. An hour and a half, I waited. Nobody ever told me it would be awhile. No one ever said, "Geez, you want to go get a cup of coffee or something?" Nothing. "He'll be with you in a few minutes," the receptionist said. "A few" is, apparently, subjective.

Now, here's the thing. My OB appointment was scheduled for one of the three hours my daughter was in preschool. I scheduled the appointment for 10 a.m. She leaves school at noon. Which means I had to be in my car by 11:40 at the latest to pick her up. So when the doctor finally poked his head in the room at 11:10 to say he'd only be 10 more minutes, I had to tell him: "Doc, I need to leave. I have to pick up my daughter at school."

My appointment was rushed. No question about it. And that's not decent healthcare.

It took me 10 minutes to get to the doctor's office from my house. Had someone called me half an hour before my appointment time to tell me he was running so late, I would have gladly rescheduled. Had someone told me when I arrived that it would be an hour before I was seen, I could have called a neighbor to pick up my daughter. As it went, I had to get the doctor to fly through my appointment. I didn't get to ask questions I wanted to ask.

In layman's terms, it was a Big Fat Waste of Time...time I treasure and don't have much of.

For the dentist's appointment, my children were at friends' houses after school. I should have wrapped up at the office at 12:30; instead, I left there at 2. Did my kids overstay their welcome? Probably. But I couldn't call to say I'd be late, numbed up and mouth filled with equipment.

To put it simply, it's rude and inconsiderate on your part to leave us hanging in the waiting room (and we won't even get into the fact that if we're late, you can and do refuse to see us at all). For moms like me, it makes appointments almost impossible--if it's a question of not being able to pick my kids up on time, I just won't go to the doctor. Simple decision.

It's fixable. Communicate with your front desk people and have them communicate with your patients. We can handle the waiting if you're honest and upfront, and let us handle it, instead of making us just sit there, wondering how much longer. It's very simple for a receptionist to say, "I'm sorry Mrs. F., but the doctor is running about an hour late. If there's something you need to do for the next 45 minutes or so, you have that much time."

The consideration road runs both ways. And it's simple and easy and basic.

So that's your answer, at least from my perspective. You want me to come in for medical care? Don't make it impossible.

Much love,

A Mom